5 Steps to Tame and Transform Negative Self Talk


An inspired girl who was tamed negative self talk.

These five steps can help you tame and then transform your negative self-talk into something productive.

If you ever have given up on a diet plan or exercise program only to be saddled with relentless negative self-talk, rest assured you are not alone. Those powerful internal voices often appear at our weakest moments and if we allow them, those voices will prevent us from reaching our goals.  These 5 Steps will help you to Tame and Transform your negative self-talk and ready yourself for Transformative Change.

Transform Negative Self Talk, Step One: Acknowledge the voices of defeat!

It is imperative that we first acknowledge the existence of our negative self-talk. We are our toughest critic and as such, are used to being the recipient of insults often disguised as reasoned arguments. One dietary misstep or missed workout and those internal voices may call you a failure and tell you how bad you’re looking. Before you know it – one caustic thought will lead to another and send you into a spiral of negative emotions. Sound familiar? Once you acknowledge their existence, you move one step closer to taming them.

Transform Negative Self Talk, Step Two: Listen

The next time those voices of negativity play in your ear – listen without emotion. Be objective. Hear what is being said in full. When you’ve made that dietary misstep, what is your internal dialog? Listen for inconsistencies or holes in the statements made by those voice(s). Listen for false and incomplete statements and pay close attention to the ‘Repeaters’ – those statements that your mind plays over and over again. They are emotionally charged and need to be tamed first.

Transform Negative Self Talk, Step Three: Prepare and Accept

You must prepare to dissect those repetitious statements. This is where your fearless work begins. The mind repeats those statements that bring to the surface an emotional response. They are powerful negative thoughts because they consistently elicited a negative response from you. Find the origin of the repeater statements and be prepared to accept any truth that may be a part of what is being repeated. Yes – there may be some truth in that negative thought.

For example, if the repeater is suggesting that you are a quitter because you never finish losing weight – you have to accept that you have quit programs in the past. There is truth in the chastisement of your inner voice, yet it is not predictive of the future nor does it define who you are in the present. Accept the truth without letting it define you!

Transform Negative Self Talk, Step Four: Forgive

Forgive yourself! As stated, you are not defined by the truth that lies within your negative inner dialog. We all make mistakes and we all are deserving of forgiveness. Acknowledge your mistakes and then move on. Be clear on the goals you seek for yourself and focus on what the future holds for you.

Transform Negative Self Talk, Step Five: Transform

For each and every negative thought – build a case for positive change. If the voices call you a failure – build a case for why you are a success. Write three positive arguments for every negative thought your inner voice throws at you. Turn those negative thoughts on their ear…Make a record of those positive thoughts and repeat them as often as you can.

Transform Negative Self Talk: Final Thoughts

If you are willing to do the work and apply these 5 Steps while acknowledging your personal growth and the efforts you make towards self-improvements, transformative change can be yours. Are you willing to work for it?

Last modified: December 1, 2019

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