I’ve Lost 100 Pounds Two Dozen Times

Health and Wellness, Inspiration

Losing weight can be like a continual bungee.

Cancer is a challenge, 99.9% of obesity and being overweight is a choice.

Even though I don’t know you, I know you.

How can I say that?

Because over the years I’ve learned that “What’s most secret is most common.

Even though we’re all unique in who we are, in what we believe, and in how we live, there are so many ways in which we’re all very much alike. This is true especially in what we think, but don’t actually share.

Hence the quote “What’s most secret is most common.

Especially when it comes to healthy eating and exercise.

I bet more times than you want to remember, you’ve had a “this is it” moment.

How many times have you found a plan that you knew, once and for all, you were going to stick to. Yes, you knew you might falter a little, but this was REALLY it!

Or maybe you reached a point where you said, “Enough is enough! I’m no longer willing to live this way anymore!

Remember how easy it was on that first day to be on plan 100%. OK, maybe the first day was a little hard, but you really believed you really were going to be your word and create a major lifestyle change.

Or maybe you really didn’t believe you would stick to it because you’ve never been able to stick to anything in the past, but you kinda thought that maybe, just maybe, something was going to be different this time.

Maybe it was for a few days.

A week, a month, even a few months, and maybe even a year.

And if you stayed 80-90% on plan over a few years you might think you had finally once and for all left the “weight of your past” behind. You have made a major mental paradigm shift and you felt pretty confident that you were fit for life!

I know I have. In fact I’ve had hundreds, maybe thousands of “this is it” moments in my life. And truth be told, I continue to have “this is it” moments now almost 4 years after my Biggest Loser final weigh-in. I lost a lot of weight on the show, and I’ve managed to keep most of it off. However, I’m still not finished getting to, and living within a healthy BMI of 170 pounds for my height.

That’s not a “secret” because I’ve been willing to share my journey post Biggest Loser with anyone who might be curious.

But I’m not happy, pleased or proud of where I’m at.

I’m not down on myself; I don’t think I’m a failure.

I just know that I haven’t been my word to myself, and I have it within me to be that.

And I’m ballsy and brave enough to declare another “this is it” moment and finish sharing the “secrets” that still have a hold on me. And I also declare that I’m willing to be coached by Matt Johnston, who will help me discover any blind spot “secrets” I’m unaware of and still hanging onto, so I can leave my “OK Plateau” behind.

Since I know we’re kindred spirits and I’m sharing what I’ve committed to do about my “secret” thinking, I’m hoping you’ll do something in return. Explore with me, and share what may be holding you back from living life well with the people you feel will listen and support your willingness to share what’s most “secret”.

But why should you consider doing this?

Well, even though I can’t say that I’ve personally cracked the code to be and stay where I want to be, I can say that I truly believe that one of the things that has really helped me is to come out and share what I thinking and doing.

And my thesis is that if I’m really willing to open up even more and invite others into the conversation to share “what’s most secret to them” there’s a great chance we all can crack the code together. We can help each other to live a healthier, more consistent lifestyle of making better choices the majority of the time vs. the dangerous whip-saw, roller coaster rides we all seem to be on in “secret” (which we know isn’t a secret to those who know us.)

Ultimately, this is a health issue.

We all know that it’s a major health issue that is affecting millions of people adversely all over the world, especially children. And yes, even though getting our heads into living healthier lives isn’t always easy because we are surrounded by a world of temptations: cancer is a challenge, 99.9% of obesity and being overweight is a choice.

I also believe it’s an appearance issue.

There, I’ve said it.

And to anyone who says people shouldn’t judge me by how I look, then tell me you’ve never said to anyone “You look amazing, what are you doing?

We’ve all said it, and we’ve all loved it when we’ve been doing something and people have noticed that we have, and they acknowledge how we look.

Yes, how we look and what we weigh doesn’t define us, but let me let you in on our collective little “secret”:

You do care, and you do judge yourself, and you do judge others, and others judge you, whether you like it or not.

I’m not advocating bashing, trashing or belittling ourselves or others, but lets get real: we all are hard-wired judgment machines. However, I do think the trend is that people see the value of supporting and building each other up vs. breaking each other down.

And if our body appearance doesn’t matter, then all of the things we apply to it, and wrap around it, and put it into don’t matter either, and you shouldn’t care about that either.

But you do.


So… last Wednesday I shared the earliest “story” of how my size and my weight seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life in my article titled “No One Thought I Would Make It.” In that piece, I shared how in the first two weeks of my life I lost over 50% of my body weight, which by Biggest Loser measure could easily qualify me for winning the show.

I also shared in that article that every Wednesday I’m going to be publishing the “Tale Of My Scale” on what I call “Weigh-In Wednesday.” I started that idea about a year ago on Facebook and it was a big hit with people. Each Wednesday, I shared not only what my scale said, but my musings on all things thinking, eating and exercise as it related to our size and self-image.

But truth be told, I started to miss a few Wednesdays. I got busy, I started to fall off my plan, I wanted to hide and, well, I did. Not in a major way, but in a way that made it easy to continue to coast.

Why? Because it’s so much easier to coach others on what to do than it is to follow your own advice. I think there’s a saying that goes something like this:

We teach what we need to learn the most.

And boy is that sooooooooo true for me. People tell me that what I share really helps them, but it’s not always helping me.

The gap between what I say and do, and the gap between what I see others say and do was the inspiration for one of the books I’m working on titled “My Last 100 lbs”.

For me, 100 lbs has been my reoccurring roller coaster ride, having gained and lost 100 lbs probably two dozen times. For some people, it’s 5, 10, 20 lbs or more. But it seems that most people have a reoccurring dance with some number.

Because of the title and the fact that I’ll be sharing my story in the book, it seems at first glance to be totally self-serving. And it is. And while that may sound selfish, I’ve come to learn that if you can’t get clear and honest about the fact that it’s best to serve yourself first, to get your house in order, chances are you won’t be able to really help anyone else in a deep sustainable way.

But what I really want this book to be about is realizing that it’s “what’s eating us” that we need to get in touch with first, more than just what we’re eating and how we’re exercising.

I want this to be “our” book, a book for all of us who really want to out and explore what “secrets” have been holding us back from living life authentically, and living life well.

So that’s the game I’m up to with these “Weigh-In Wednesday” posts. A personal inquiry into what I’m discovering, and I’m willing to be totally transparent with anyone who’s willing to watch as my discovery and sharing unfolds.

What I’m most excited about is that I’m going to be aggressively reaching out to people who seem to have cracked the code to not just losing some weight (like Dave Hall at Cellercise), but who have gotten to a healthy BMI, and have been living that lifestyle for quite some time. Not that they have been perfect, but they have found ways to self-correct before the wheels fall off.

When I first started doing my “Weigh-In Wednesday” videos on Facebook, I did them to share and to keep me accountable, and that’s still my intention.

But what I’m really open to is a deeper level of transparency and exploration into what causes me to not be my “word” when it comes to “being” and “living” what I say I want.

What are the gaps, the blind spots, the stories, the excuses, the inauthenticities that I’ve been willing to let influence my thoughts and actions to date?

I have no idea where this journey will take me, but I’m all in with sharing what unfolds to not only help myself, but anyone else who wants to follow. Even better, I hope they’ll jump right in with their insights, discoveries, experiences, and breakthroughs as well.

Last Wednesday I shared that I weighed in at 270lbs. And other than my daily runs, I had no interest in committing to or following any particular eating plan. I thought about it, but I pretty much ate anything I wanted with pretty much total disregard for the quality and quantity of what I ate.

I was still very entrenched in my “OK Plateau” until I returned from our long weekend in Pittsburgh. Kim and I visited Matthew and Erik and on our first morning back, I weighed in at 282 lbs, 12lbs more than I weighed in 6 days earlier. My clothes were tighter, but I thought the scale would have stayed the same, or at most have been up 5lbs. But no, 12 lbs, and I have to be honest that that number really gutted me at first, because it was a number I had seen two years ago after I came back from a trip to Chicago. 282 lbs was once again the highest post Biggest Loser finale weigh-in I ever recorded.

A number I never thought I would see again, and yet there it was in all its glory! Yes, a number on a scale doesn’t define anyone, but it does indicate the degree to which we are being good to ourselves as it relates to our health and wellness, and that’s not scientifically up for debate, it’s just what it is.

So that number was the wake-up call I needed to start writing this article on Tuesday morning, and to make my “Weigh-In Wednesday” official this morning I weighed in at 279.2lbs.

So that’s my “story” this week, and I’m sticking to it. Let’s see what unfolds next Wednesday.

What’s your story?

Last modified: December 3, 2019

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